Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Top 10 Films of 2011.

Regardless of the quality of his films, Nicolas Cage must feature in all collages.

Although the Academy is being particularly offensive with their nominations this year, 2011 has made the atrocity of 2010 seem like a bad dream.  There were twenty to thirty films in 2011 that I wouldn't yell at someone for including in their best of the year list.  Either I'm growing as a person (I'm not), or 2011 was a pretty good year.  So, brace yourself, this is going to be a long entry.  This list, as always, does not include documentaries.  Let's start with some honorable mentions/films of note.


Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Chronicle or, Don't Fly At Me, Bro.



At this point, I'm so sick of superhero movies, I don't even want to see The Avengers.  In about ten years, we've had four X-men films, three Spiderman films, three Batmans films, two Fantastic Four films, two Iron Man films, Thor, Green Lantern, Captain America, three different actors playing the Incredible Hulk...  Chris Evans has even played two different superheroes.  It's gotten out of control.  Of course, not all these films are bad, but I'm burnt out.  Let's move on to something new.

Likewise, apart from Rec, found footage films are welcome to follow the repetitive superhero formula into hell.  After The Blair Witch Project, Hollywood suddenly decided to stop hiring writers and just give their actors camcorders.  The results are mixed, but a gimmick is a gimmick.

And now we arrive at Chronicle, the found footage superhero movie.  I use "superhero" in the loosest sense; but superpowers are involved, so we'll count it.  It is entertaining, which is more than I'll say for half the movies previously mentioned, but the justification for a diagetic camera grows weaker and weaker with every scene.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Some Not Top Ten Films of 2011

I promise you:  All the films below are better than Real Steel.


I just thought I'd pop in and note that while I haven't posted in a while, it is due to my focused effort to see every noteworthy film of 2011 before the Oscars.  I've considered articles on quite a few films this past month, but there always seems to be another film to watch.  You will, however, soon be treated to my annual summary, which will encompass most, if not all, of the films I've been scrambling to get through.  Thankfully, 2011 has provided a much greater supply of quality films than 2010, and I assure you the title of this year's entry will not be "This Year Sucked..." like last time.  In fact, let's take a moment to highlight some films that won't quite make the top ten.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Muppets, or Nostalgia: The New American Enterprise.


The Muppets currently has a 97% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, has been recommended to me by countless friends with varying tastes in cinema, and boasts Jason Segel as lead actor and co-writer.  The signs were good that The Muppets would be a good time.  And I hated it.

Well, hate is a strong word.  There were short bursts of entertainment sandwiched between the spastic narrative and flat jokes, but I can only explain the overwhelming mass approval of The Muppets to myself by assuming that adults have been validating its flaws; either through some sort of Muppet nostalgia, or a forgiveness due to the false assumption that kids movies don't actually have to be good.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Like Crazy: Your Annual Deteriorating Relationship.


Last year, Ryan Gosling demonstrated that love and ukulele skills aren't always enough to sustain a relationship.  In 2009, Colin Firth showed us the absolute heartbreak of losing a lover.  We tend to get about one accurate relationship drama a year, and 2011's offering appears to be Like Crazy.  

Like Crazy's accuracy on the highs and lows of young love, as well as the difficulty of long-distance relationships is hard to deny, and while the film's emotional instances serve up quite a few high points, they tend to get muddled in the simplicity of the film's composition, which serves as a detriment to the overall quality of the film.


Saturday, September 24, 2011

Drive: Ryan Gosling's Guide to Being a Man Part 2.


If it isn't already obvious to you that Ryan Gosling/Baby Goose is the greatest living human being, take a moment to observe him in his natural habitat.  He's always willing to break up a street fight, before performing in his band, and he just wants to quit acting to make some babies.  And he'll probably take you to Disneyland first, because Disneyland strengthens fertility.  And if you don't click any of those links, just go watch Blue Valentine and attempt to logically explain what Michelle Williams could possibly dislike about him.

Gosling's most recent works only expand on his likability.  Crazy, Stupid, Love was Gosling's first foray into providing manhood instructions for the masses, and I urge you to interpret Drive as an instructional video on how to take care of your gurrl.  You can steal, shoot, and stomp dudes to death, but you better take care of yo' baby.

I wouldn't blame you for thinking that Drive, particularly due to the presence of Brian Cranston, Ron Perlman, and fast cars, might be a fast-paced action film in the vein of The Transporter or Fast and the Furious.  In fact, if that's exactly what you want, you might not even want to see Drive, but if you can move beyond your muscled, bald man fetish, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Art House Roundup: The UK Invasion and Will Ferrell.


I've been catching up on some harder to find films that came out this year, and if I don't post all of them in one entry, I probably won't post about them at all.  Everything Must Go, Submarine, Attack the Block, and The Trip have all been pretty difficult to see in Michigan, but I'm a magician, so I manage.  Reviews of the previously mentioned follow the break.