|Captain America's breast milk is a rare and delicious commodity.|
I cannot believe how awful Captain America is. Normally, I say a bunch of hateful things about a film and then nonchalantly mention that it was decent. Let me be clear: Captain America is awful. I would use all caps to emphasize this, but I'm classy, dogg.
That's not to say it isn't watchable. The first act is pretty solid, and while the rest of the film isn't horrible, it's so bland and lazy that it makes me want to watch Batman and Robin; which was a truly terrible film, but at least you didn't know exactly what horrible thing was going to happen next. The truth is, after our asthmatic, anorexic underdog becomes Captain America, the film descends into montage after montage, some of which is actual montage, the rest of which is just bland action and meaningless dialogue that blurs together due to lazy writing and poor pacing.