The Perks of Being a Wallflower: Sophomore Year Must Have Sucked.

Ten points for Gryffindor.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower will resonate with anyone who remembers feeling like an outsider in high school, which as one eventually discovers, is pretty much everyone.  It's a well-crafted, capsule of nostalgia focused around an incredibly dull, yet invariably scarred, loner named Charlie who finds himself befriended by an intriguing band of misfit youths.

The film manages to capture the mood of youthful insecurity and the transitory sense of entering and leaving high school, all the while reminding us, perhaps a little too often, of the ignorance inherent in children's ploys at maturity.  Charlie seems to be the only real wallflower of the bunch; he acts as narrator, and would be a completely vapid character if not for a tragic past and a crush on Hermione Granger.

It is the friends Charlie makes that drive the plot.  Sam (Emma Watson) and Patrick (Ezra Miller) are step-siblings whom, after the realization that Charlie has no real friends, adopt him as their own.  Charlie seems to contribute little to this friendship, apart from being a virginal target for corruption and a fresh face to talk to.  I suppose that's more than most friendships are based on, but I think I harbored a small grudge for Charlie's uninteresting personality.  I mean, sure he reads books, but he's not that cool.  And he has a stupid trapper keeper.

Looper, or Joseph Gordon Levitt is Bruce Willis.

Yippee Ki-yay?

Joseph Gordon Levitt plays Bruce Willis.  Do I need to continue?  You know what?  I'm not going to.  It's pretty good and it's filled with plot holes.  Enjoy.  This post is to prove that I'm still here.

7/10

The Dark Knight Rises: Needed More Yeast.

Batman vs. Predator.

You know, for all the talk of "a storm coming", I don't think it rained once in The Dark Knight Rises.  As I was anxiously awaiting excessive precipitation, I have to admit that I'm heartbroken.  Maybe I wouldn't be so down if the film had been up to par.  I know I have a history of downplaying mega hits just to piss people off–including The Dark Knight–but I've always felt that Batman Begins and The Dark Knight are really good films.  The Dark Knight Rises is not.

It's really unfortunate that so few trilogies actually have three good movies in them, and it's equally upsetting that I have to consider The Dark Knight Rises Christopher Nolan's only miss.  I assumed TDKR would follow the trend of third-in-the-trilogy films and be less than the previous two, but I did not expect what I got: a bloated, clunky exercise in mediocrity.

To Rome With Love, or Lingering Alec Baldwin.

Midnight In Paris ruined everything.  I went to see To Rome with Love today and, believe it or not, there were other people in the theater.  It was terrifying.  Can you imagine sitting alongside fifty or so elderly couples who are actually laughing at the trailer for Hope Springs?  May you never experience such horror.  Thankfully, To Rome with Love should scare off the masses.  It's getting destroyed by critics, and it certainly won't win any Academy Awards.

But it was still enjoyable.  Well, three fourths of it was.  Most of the dialogue misses its mark, and the characters have little to no merit, but To Rome with Love offers just enough absurdity to keep itself going.

Magic Mike, or What Matthew McConaughey Does in His Free Time.

Sorry for the absence.  I bought a computer today because I knew you all missed me.  Although I've been without the means to deliver my delightfully slanderous criticism, rest assured that I have been keeping tabs on all things cinematic.  If you haven't seen a theatrical release since my absence, you haven't missed much.  However, as with all things in life, just as you're getting comfortable with the bland emptiness of it all, Channing Tatum shows up and takes off his pants.

Top 10 Films of 2011.

Regardless of the quality of his films, Nicolas Cage must feature in all collages.

Although the Academy is being particularly offensive with their nominations this year, 2011 has made the atrocity of 2010 seem like a bad dream.  There were twenty to thirty films in 2011 that I wouldn't yell at someone for including in their best of the year list.  Either I'm growing as a person (I'm not), or 2011 was a pretty good year.  So, brace yourself, this is going to be a long entry.  This list, as always, does not include documentaries.  Let's start with some honorable mentions/films of note.

Chronicle or, Don't Fly At Me, Bro.

At this point, I'm so sick of superhero movies, I don't even want to see The Avengers.  In about ten years, we've had four X-men films, three Spiderman films, three Batmans films, two Fantastic Four films, two Iron Man films, Thor, Green Lantern, Captain America, three different actors playing the Incredible Hulk...  Chris Evans has even played two different superheroes.  It's gotten out of control.  Of course, not all these films are bad, but I'm burnt out.  Let's move on to something new.

Likewise, apart from Rec, found footage films are welcome to follow the repetitive superhero formula into hell.  After The Blair Witch Project, Hollywood suddenly decided to stop hiring writers and just give their actors camcorders.  The results are mixed, but a gimmick is a gimmick.

And now we arrive at Chronicle, the found footage superhero movie.  I use "superhero" in the loosest sense; but superpowers are involved, so we'll count it.  It is entertaining, which is more than I'll say for half the movies previously mentioned, but the justification for a diagetic camera grows weaker and weaker with every scene.