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Anyway, let's get the obvious one from everyone else's top ten out of the way:
One Battle After Another
This is the only movie I watched twice this year. It's unfortunate that the second watch was in order to reevaluate the overwhelming hatred I felt for it against the absurdly positive online reception. Don't get me wrong, this movie is an absolute banger for the hour we spend with Benicio Del Toro, but that's only a third of the movie. First, we have to sit through the first act of One Fetish After Another and at some point realize that it's not meant to be a Blaxploitation movie—despite every black female character pausing their activism to talk about their lady parts, sneak in a quickie before the bombs go off, and/or go on a power trip to generate an unearned boner in the first five minutes of the film. We need foreplay, PTA. Say what you will about Megalopolis, but that unexpected boner scene is still the GOAT. Anyway, after being offensive for an hour, the film moves on to the aforementioned cinematic intensity which ends around the time Sean Penn starts to worry that his shirts make him appear homosexual. If you like the final act, I'll allow it; but you have to acknowledge that it hinges entirely on Deus ex Native American, and that the car "chase" scene exists solely for the purpose of cinematography. Why else would Willa sabotage a random car on a hilly road? There could have been kids in that car. Was there an offscreen scene where she was warned about the existence of Christmas Adventurers? On that note, why would someone who shouts that he loves black women in a public supermarket want to join a white supremacist group (#Hypocricy #Thematic)? Why was Leo able to go back and live in the same house that was raided by the military the day before? Were the white supremacists supposed to be the good guys? I have a lot of unanswered questions. This movie is a mess, but it's actually the movie this year that I tell people to watch the most. It's the most pro drunk driving movie of the year and my favorite to complain about. And in 2025, that's at least something.
On an Oscars related note; I liked Sinners, but it doesn't transcend popcorn flick vampire (Is that a spoiler?) movie for me. I might have liked it more if there weren't vampires. In general, I found a lot of 2025 films adequate, but I don't have too many films that I'd recommend you watch over TV shows. Even Dexter was good this year, TV is on a roll.
10. A Big Bold Beautiful Journey
This might be a weird pick, because there are definitely reasons to not like this movie. It's occasionally too cute and it sometimes feels like Colin Farrell and Margot Robbie are just reading their lines to each other. The romance feels forced, but if you can forgive that there's a lot to like here. Colin Farrell and Margot Robbie are both sad adults pretending to be happy, until they meet at a wedding, have some banter and then reunite over fast food cheeseburgers because they've both rented cars from a car-rental agency steeped in magical realism. The in-car GPS sends them on a trip that links them to past events and relationships and forces them to reexamine previous events and relationships with the other as an observer. A Big Bold Beautiful Journey is a quirky romcom that would have fit in well immediately post-Garden State and I Heart Huckabees. It may feel out of place so many years after Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and 500 Days of Summer and it's certainly inferior, but it's still funny and charming. Eternity is a safer pick in a similar retrospective vein for 2025, but despite it's flaws, this is my pick. I will also disclose that Mickey 17 existed in this spot for a while until I started rewatching it and there are 10+ movies that could be in this spot.
9. The Baltimorons
If The Holdovers was your jam, here is your 2025 equivalent. Sometimes you just need a movie about two random people wandering around together on Christmas Eve. A guy who is definitely not Stavros Halkias—despite clearly being so in my memory—has to seek out emergency dental surgery on Christmas Eve. Then his car gets towed and he and his dentist go on a short, banter-filled, beautiful journey to get his car back, troll an ex husband, perform some improv, and trap a creature of the sea. It's like a middle-aged Before Sunrise with corny jokes and emotional baggage instead of sex appeal and hopeful optimism. Wait. Does that make it more like Before Midnight? (It doesn't). If you like small slice-of-life movies about real people working through real people problems and having laughs along the way, this is a solid romcom pick.
8. Caught Stealing
Did Darren Aronofsky recently receive a burst of joy in his life? Because I did not expect a fun crime thriller from the director whose previous most crowd-pleasing film was either The Whale or The Wrestler. In fact, I think this is the first comedy (read non-tragedy) he's ever made unless you count Noah—which resulted in the near-extinction of the human race and was only funny by accident. Austin Butler plays a bartender who finds himself in trouble with a number of unsavory characters after his punk-rock neighbor Matt Smith asks him to watch his cat while he takes the Tardis out of town. Turns out Matt Smith ran off with some money and now Austin finds himself getting beaten up by unhinged Russians, followed by Hasidic mobsters, and depending on a cop he doesn't trust. It's got car chases. People get killed. It's basically One Battle After Another at an appropriate runtime and with responsible portrayal of black female characters. In terms of white female characters, Laura Dern did a fantastic job looking surprised for the ten seconds she was in the film. I'm shocked that wasn't enough to earn her a 2025 best supporting actress nomination. Also, the cat is a main character if that helps sell you.
7. Hamnet
My preferred types of cinematic grief are lost love, unrequited love, nostalgia, and obsessive self-loathing. If you feel the same way about familial death, then Hamnet is your 2025 masterpiece. Jessie Buckley plays Agnes; some sort of witch whose hobbies include playing with birds, napping by holes in the woods, and falling in love with William Shakespeare—who undoubtedly did not look as good as Paul Mescal in real life. Wikipedia side note: William Shakespeare's wife was actually named Anne Hathaway, which feels like a missed casting opportunity. Not that anyone could have done better than Jessie Buckley. Give her the best actress Oscar before Emma Stone becomes the next Meryl Streep (It may already be too late, and that's fine too). The movie is about Paul Mescal and Jessie Buckley making eyes at each other, which turns into making babies with other. Then something sad happens and rather than completely devolving into self-loathing, Paul Mescal channels his pain into his plays like a responsible adult. It's very well done. I had a bit of a cry and was briefly moved; but by the end of the movie I was ultimately more concerned with how peasants getting struck down by bubonic plague left and right had such a positive reaction to Shakespeare's plays. My ninth grade English class wasn't impressed and we had the added aesthetic value of 1996 Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes.
6. Train Dreams
While I still believe that narration is cheating, I'll give Train Dreams a pass and cement my status as hypocrite. Also, since we seem to be picking best supporting actress nominees at random this year; we should have thrown this three year old child into the list, because she is adorable. Similar in theme to Hamnet, their order in this list is basically a coin flip (For me. Major disagreements will be accepted by post or in person). Hamnet is more intense and has greater single moments, but Train Dreams is more consistent and has better shot composition. Plus, two grown men play with puppies and we don't have to watch a scene from HamLet. Caps intentional to avoid confusion. Train Dreams is about a logger who doesn't much care for life until he meets Felicity Jones and then really likes his life for a while. Then something bad happens and he stops liking it again. It's much broader than Hamnet as it covers an entire life, focusing on the importance of family and of not being born before World War 2. It kind of trickles out at the end, and there's probably too many overambitious metaphors about trees, but again—you don't have to watch any Shakespeare plays. This is the movie that Terrence Malick has been failing to make enjoyable since Tree of Life, so I'm glad someone finally pulled it off.
5. Twinless
2025 is apparently the year of dead family members. Twinless is about two men who meet in a support group for people with dead twins and become BFF's. If you want a cinematic take on grief that relies on wit and jokes instead of Shakespeare or puppies, this is more up your alley. Even if you're not in the market for grief, you can ride on the wit and dark comedy of these two opposites becoming besties. If you saw actor/director James Sweeney's last film, Straight Up, you can expect a similar character in Sweeney's Dennis as the witty and awkward gay man bonding with the quiet, very depressed and not-very-smart, and unfortunately straight Roman. As a subplot, Roman is suspiciously comfortable giving other men foot massages, so maybe there's a chance. The two lean on each other to pull each other out of their grief, but there's also some spoiler-level dishonesty in their relationship that is bound to cause trouble later in the film. The film is touching and relatable, but also one of the funniest movies of the year.
4. Bugonia
This is Yorgos Lanthimos sixth best film (only Alps and Kinds of Kindness are worse), but this is a good year for middling entries from great directors. Mickey 17 was in this top ten until I booted it about five seconds ago. Bong Joon Ho has at least four movies better than that, and I haven't even seen Mother or Memories of Murder. Where Caught Stealing ranks among Aronofsky's films is probably largely dependent on whether you can stand most of his other films, but it's definitely not his best. There's another sixth/eighth best movie by a famous director too, but we'll talk about that shortly. The major outlier is that Hamnet is absolutely Chloe Zhao's best film unless you're an insane person. Bugonia is about conspiracy theorists (led by Jesse Plemons) who kidnap a CEO because they are convinced that she is an alien who depends on her hair for communicating with her mothership and that antihistamines will weaken her nervous system. This results in a bald, lotioned-up Emma Stone being held hostage in a basement by two social rejects. Jesse Plemons continuously makes wild leaps in logic to support his theory that she's an alien, Emma Stone looks at him like he's stupid, and there's a weird subplot involving Stavros Halkias (it's actually him this time) that I'd rather not get into. Of course, this is a Yorgos Lanthimos film, which is unfortunately a spoiler—because if you didn't think Bugonia would end in the most unhinged possible way, you don't know your Lanthimos. At least it has the happiest ending of 2025.
3. Weapons
If I had to choose, I prefer Barbarian but I consider them about equal, and Weapons is much less silly and probably the correct choice for actual horror fans. After a bunch of kids from the same classroom all run out of their homes in the middle of the night and disappear for unknown reasons, this town is in an uproar. The blame gets placed most easily on their teacher, Julia Garner, who is coping with being the town pariah with a healthy dose of alcohol and hermit behavior. Josh Brolin plays an enraged father of a missing child who considers the teacher the prime suspect, and the film shifts between various character perspectives as the mystery of what is actually going on unravels. It's a solid mystery with haunting imagery of creepy kids running around, and the actual reveal of what's been going on is less nuanced than it could have been, it's a reminder to everyone that cops are incompetent, children are creepy, and that when someone who looks and dresses like the Joker appears in your town you should treat them with suspicion.
2. No Other Choice
Ok. Here we are. It's been a while for me on some of these, but No Other Choice is at best Park Chan-Wook's fourth best movie and possibly his eighth. I'm not going to rewatch Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, Lady Vengeance, Stoker, and Thirst just to give you a definitive answer. I can tell you it's about a guy who really loves working for a paper company losing his job and dealing with the exceptional difficulty of finding another one before he has to sell his home. He decides that his best option is to start killing the competition so that he can once again achieve his lofty dreams of producing and selling paper. One day he's killing it at work, the next he's unemployed. It's the unfortunate reality of capitalism, and hopefully it doesn't start driving more of us to murder each other or we're all in trouble. No Other Choice simultaneously shifts between the shame of not being able to provide for your family and the hilarity of a man not meant for murder struggling to carry it out. It's a dark comedy with the production design and cinematic bravado you'd expect from Park Chan-Wook, and I'm not going to give him a hard time for not meeting the insanely high standards he set for himself with Oldboy or The Handmaiden.
1. Splitsville
The opening scene starts with a blowjob (it wasn't weird like in One Battle After Another, there was dramatic foreplay), gets interrupted by an unexpected death, and ends with a divorce. While that sounds like a full movie, it's the first five minutes of Splitsville; which maintains it's momentum with a hilarious sprint through the opening credits and a screwball script which never relents until the finale. After Carey is asked for a divorce, he abandons his wife and his car and sprints to the house of his best friends, Julie and Paul. They tell him that the secret to their happiness is that they have an open marriage, which seems to be working out for them until Carey and Julie sleep together. The result is is a well-choreographed fight between friends in which they agree not to use knives and to pause to save the fish, an amusement park trip in which many fish lose their lives, and relentless banter between lovers, former lovers, and the lovers of former lovers. All of this banter and relationship drama reaches its climax at a birthday party in which all the seemingly rewritten relationships are forced into a fresh reexamination. Splitsville is filled with laughs and comedic scenes between multiple characters with overlapping dialogue, and I challenge you to catch all the sneaky jokes in just one viewing.
Everything Else
Could Easily Be in the 6-10 Spots:
Mickey 17 - Robert Pattinson being weird in multiple roles is more impressive than Michael B. Jordan playing the same character twice.
The Ballad of Wallis island - Fyre Festival for sad boys.
Eternity - If the afterlife is this stressful, what is even the point?
The Gorge - If Miles Teller had the option in Eternity he'd clearly pick Anya Taylor Joy
Marty Supreme - Did Timothee Chalamet have a better fall than Leo?
Freaky Tales - This is the most star-studded fun movie that no one saw.
Bunny - Holds hands with Caught Stealing as a fun thriller that was better than One Battle After Another
Superman - Honestly, if this is your favorite movie of the year; that's okay too.
Bring Her Back - We're not nominating Sally Hawkins for best supporting actress?
Fackham Hall - The beautiful puns exceeded even The Naked Gun.
Also Good:
The Naked Gun - Ten years for manslaughter? Must have been one hell of a joke.
Companion - Your AI girlfriend will be chill if you treat her right.
A Working Man - Jason Statham killing people who deserve it is my favorite genre.
Sinners - I still haven't figured out which character was nominated for best supporting actress or why.
Frankenstein - Mia Goth's outfits are worth it alone.
Nobody 2 - A sequel no one needed, but there was still some fun.
Roofman - Suprisingly basic for a Cianfrance film.
Mission Impossible Final Reckoning - I got my hopes up because the last one was good.
Thunderbolts - This was adequate, but if we're gonna keep this universe going it's gonna get rough.
The Threesome - Wear condoms, boys.
Good Fortune - Keanu Reeves should win an Oscar for least effort in acting of the year.
Dust Bunny - Most unnecessary R-rating of the year.
The Life of Chuck - There's a dance scene and a bread aisle is involved.
The Toxic Avenger - Peter Dinklage and Elijah Wood are striving for greatness.
Sisu: Road to Revenge - This old man just loves to slaughter.
Fine:
The Ugly Stepsister - I was hopeful at the beginning but got bored.
Americana - I would also do crazy shit for Sydney Sweeney.
Peacock - Doing crazy shit in front of rich people is believable if you commit.
It Was Just an Accident - A dude makes bad decisions instead of killing his enemy.
Eddington - Ari Aster tries but fails to make COVID make sense.
The Accountant 2 - An okay sequel to a movie that didn't deserve one.
Materialists - Pedro Pescal is the clear choice.
One Battle After Another - Mexican Hairless is the code word of the bourgeoisie.
Black Bag - Over so quick I don't even understand why people liked this.
Griffin in Summer - Woody Allen is twelve years old and gay.
Friendship - She's not here right now. She's in the sewers.
Jay Kelly - George Clooney learns how to make a sandwich.
Parthenope - Pretty pictures, sadness, and boredom.
The Testament of Ann Lee - Sinners for white people.
Bad:
The Housemaid - I was hoping for weird bad, I just got bad.
Die My Love - Jennifer Lawrence rolls in the grass for two hours.
28 Years Later - This was three different movies and the first third was good.
Sentimental Value - I was promised that there would be value. This proved incorrect.
The Mastermind - I have never been so bored by a heist film.
Dangerous Animals - There were sharks. Why was this recommended to me?
Chainsaws Were Singing - Turns out cannibal musicals filmed in Estonia ten years ago and unreleased until now were unreleased for a reason.
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